Go ahead, be honest. We're all friends here. Nobody will judge you. At least I won't. I'm not necessarily the skinniest kid in class, you know. After all, I'm the guy who just spent an entire post vigorously defending pork roll's blessed name.
Still ... wow. I mean ... wow. Two deep-fried chicken patties for bread? If that's not the essence of America, I don't know what is. That's 540 calories of red-blooded patriotism.
Seriously(?), though, releasing this thing in America nowadays is like giving a drunk in the final hours of a weeklong bender a mason jar full of 180-proof basement-distilled moonshine. It's bound to put him down for good.
Still, I'm not ashamed to say I'm kinda looking forward to trying one. Okay, maybe a little ashamed.
But then again, what's more American than a food-related death wish?