Scenes from an Engagement, Episode 1

My dear fiancee and I, like many couples, I'm sure, have "our" shows that we pretty much have to watch together. Luckily, though, we grant each other a lot of TV liberty, so we really only must watch two shows together: "Survivor" and "Lost," two shows predominantly set on islands.

We were talking about this the other day, and it got me thinking about our upcoming honeymoon. We still haven't settled on where we'll go, but I've been adamant about going to an island, the kind where the sand is white, the water is clear blue, and the fruity drinks are brought to you on silver trays. I can imagine few things more rewarding or relaxing after 18 months(!) of planning a wedding than lounging about on some tropical island.

My fiancee, however, wants no part of an island. (Well, maybe one of those Hawaiian ones. But that would be, you know, expensive.) "We're not island people, honey," she'll often say.

"Okay, so if we're not island people," I said the other day, "then why are our two shows set on islands? We're clearly island people."

"But honey," she responded, "you know very well we'd probably die on both islands. The sun alone would do us and our pale skin in." (Quick note: Maybe she has a point. I have a nasty little patch of sunburn on my arm just from sitting with it exposed in the sun for an hour today. In April. In New Jersey.)

"I dunno," I said. "The 'Survivor' island, wherever it is, would probably put us both in traction, but I think we could stick it out on the 'Lost' island."

"No way!" she shot back. "Polar bears? The Smoke Monster? We'd be doomed. Doomed, I say!"

"Nah," I said. "We'd be like Rose and Bernard, minding our own business, building our own little Eden while the rest kill each other."

"Yeah, that's what you think," she said. "We'd be Nikki and Paulo, and you know it. We'd be red shirts, honey! Red shirts!"

"Red shirts?" I asked in a most indignant tone. "I resent the comparison!"

"Honey," my dear fiancee said gently, even lovingly, as she touched my upper arm, "you're even wearing a red shirt as we speak."

Let's just say that we're seriously considering having our honeymoon in New Orleans.